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| *All four Beatles sitting on chairs on a semi circle, with a big mail bag between them*
Paul: Hello and welcome to the first episode of Beatle Buzz! We are your hosts, the Beatles! John Lennon!
John: Hello!
Paul: George Harrison!
George: *Glares at audience* Hey.
Paul: Ringo Starr!
Ringo: Hi!
Paul: And myself, Paul McCartney!
We have a few letters from fans, asking questions about random topics. It's our job to answer them!
John: *Pulls out letter from bag* The first letter is from... Uh... *squinting* wazzat say?
George: Clio McKenzie. Put yer glasses on John!
John: Clio McKenzie! And she writes...
'Dear Beatle Buzz, I'm in love with a really how guy who plays guitar in this band I know. What should I do to attract his attention?
Confused
Clio McKenzie'
John: Die yer hair blonde and wear minis!
George: John! Yeh, but guys do like blondes better, I think.
Ringo: Go up and talk to him. Maybe he'll notice you, if you try a liddle.
John: Shurrup Ring.
Paul: No, Ringo has a point there. Clio, do what Ringo said!
George: Hmm... Our next letter is from a Laura Kelly. She writes...
'Dear Beatle Buzz, how do I meet famous people? I mean, how do I make friends with people like you? I want to know, cuz I think Ringo's hot!
Luv Laura!'
Ringo: Come round to my place tonight and I'll introduce you to some 'famous people'!
Paul: Uh... I dunno really. Yeh just sorta, meet 'em!
John: Can't buy me looooooove! Whaa?? Uh... Dunno. Ask 'em out.
George: John, did you even hear the question?
John: Nope!
Paul: *Mutters under breath* Dumbass! *Normal voice* Right-i-o! Next letter!
Ringo: It's a... Elizabeth O'Brien. She asks...
'Dear Beatle Buzz, what advice would you give to a struggling guitar player? I'm only learning, so what do you say?
Peace!
Elizabeth O'Brien!'
George: Buy a piano!
John: Use yer fingers!
Paul: Learn bass!
Ringo: Huh? I dunno; I play drums.
Paul: Yes... Time for 1 more letter?
John: Uhuh! *Pulls out another letter* It's from Maureen Cox...
'Dear Beatle Buzz, now that you have that awful show, Ringo is never around anymore! I never get to go out with him! Please send my Ringo back now!
Angry,
Maureen Cox'
Ringo: I love you baby!
John: *Girly voice* Oh, we'd better send Ringo home now!
*Paul, George and John grab him and throw him out the window*
Paul: Until next time! Goodnight and Beatle on!
*Exit stage*
(Ringo eventually climbed back in the window and back to Maureen. She forgave him, and then they both threw the others out the window.)
*Beatles in same formation as before*
John: Welcome to the second edition of Beatle Buzz! I'm your host George Harrison!
George: JOHN!!!
John: I meant Paul McCartney!
Paul: Get a life John!
Ringo: Okay, we only got one measly letter, so this'll be a short show. From some guy named... Cletus??? Is that right?
*George examines letter*
George: Um... Yes.
'Dear Beetel Bus, I gots me a crush on this fine perdy lass called Billie Jean, but the problem is shes mah sistah! I dunno what a do! Hepl me?
Cleatus, I mean Cletus!'
George: Uh...
John: *cough* FREAK! *cough*
Ringo: Um... Marry her!
Paul: The kids'll be deformed, but what the hell!
John: *acting the spastic* Mummy! I wanna hug! Hyuk hyuk!! *falls over*
Ringo: Hehe.
Paul: *pokes John with a stick* Yay! He's dead!
George: Uh... tune in next time for Beatles Buzz!
*Ending credits roll*
(No, I have nothing against spastic people, my liddle brother is in a wheelchair and can't walk. So nyah if you don't like Johns actions! Nyah nyah nyah!)
Camera Man-John Lennon
Producer-George Harrison
Director-Paul McCartney
Hair Stylist-Ringo Starr
Makeup Artist-John Lennon
Wardrobe Artist-George Harrison
Lighting Manager-Paul McCartney
Coffee-Maker-Ringo Starr
John Lennon supplied by Yoko Ono
George Harrison supplied Oliva Harrison
Paul McCartney supplied by Linda McCartney
Ringo Starr supplied by Rachael Starkey
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